My Companion
by wikelia
Summary: "Maybe, somewhere along the way, Astrid had fallen in love with her husband, and now she had to pay the price." Or, they have an arranged marriage and Astrid isn't sure how dedicated Hiccup is to her. Oneshot. {Now a series of oneshots!}
1. Chapter 1

Astrid found that, unlike most of the time, she actually had a very good reason to be mad.

She was pacing her bedroom, the elder woman's voice ringing through her head. Saying that it was okay, it was normal. They had an arranged marriage, after all, so what else could the _poor dear_ expect but for her husband to slip into another woman's bed during his travels? What kind of fool would she be to think that they could grow to love each other? It wasn't realistic, apparently.

It wasn't like her and Hiccup were close. Whenever he came home, they would talk to each other in polite tones and spend time with the twins. Little Stoick and Finn knew their parents' dynamic well. While it wasn't ideal, Hiccup had never shown any signs of unhappiness. He was a committed person, both to her and the children. He always tried to make up for any missed time by helping around the house, while at the same time doing his duties to the village.

So it escaped her how anyone thought he could cheat.

But now that they had said it - now that it was out there…

He did have plenty of opportunities to. She didn't have anyone close enough to both of them that would tell her if her husband had been cheating on her.

Dysfunctional families were a thing, she had to remind herself, that's what her mother had always said. She was supposed to expect disloyalty. But that had been in the first year of marriage. The second, if one wanted to stretch.

Not after years and with two boys running around.

But even if Hiccup did sleep with someone else, why would it matter? They didn't care about each other, and her mother always said she'd be foolish to expect a man's attention on herself only. So why did her heart ache at the mere thought of him just considering it?

Maybe, somewhere along the way, Astrid had fallen in love with her husband, and now she had to pay the price.

And what a price it was.

They didn't talk more than they had to. They didn't sleep together. They didn't share sweet words or proclamations of love like she'd read about in books. No, vikings were too tough for love, apparently. Love, weakness, sadness - these were things you bottled away.

She heard the door shut, and hurriedly stood up. It took Hiccup coming into the room for her to realize there was a tear halfway down her cheek, and he noticed it before she furiously wiped it away.

"Something happen?" Hiccup stepped closer, his green eyes filled with genuine concern. Or she thought it was genuine. Who even knew.

"Have you slept with another woman since we got married?" The words tumbled out of her mouth before she got a chance to phrase it differently. It didn't sound all that accusatory, but it was blunt, as though she'd already decided the answer.

He stared at her blankly for two seconds before he furrowed his brows. "What?"

"Thorne...Thorne said that the last time she saw you leave the island, you were practically glowing." There were more angry hot tears building up, despite her wanting them to go away. "She said only one thing made someone as happy as that."

Hiccup opened his mouth and closed it again, making her feel a dull thud in her chest. She turned around, speaking quickly.

"Never mind. Whether you are or not doesn't matter." She took a shaky breath. "I have no control over your decisions, and if you've found someone who makes you happy, then I'm happy for you. If you were practically glowing, then I assume she must be very welcoming and friendly and beautiful -"

She was ranting, with no real idea of where she was going with the conversation. But she had to keep going, because now she was actually full blown crying, and she couldn't let him see. So she'd fallen in love with him. So what, so what, so what. Even if he wasn't having an affair, it wasn't like he was clambering over his feet to spend time with her.

"Astrid," Hiccup interrupted quietly, stepping right behind her and making her breath hitch. He must have seen her tears, or sensed them from her tone. "Thorne has been on this island long before I was born, and I've never once heard her say something without exaggerating it."

She swallowed, trying to steady her breathing. Hiccup's hands were slowly undoing her braid, and to her relief, the blonde locks helped to hide her face and tears.

She hadn't really stopped to think about how well he knew her.

"She said I was glowing? Then I probably had a smile on my face. Actually - I remember why I had was happy when I was leaving that day. It was because of you."

Astrid stilled, and somehow, her hand found his behind her and their fingers intertwined. "Because of me? Why?"

"You came to see me off." He rubbed his thumb over the back of her hand. "Granted, we didn't kiss or hug or anything, but you cared enough to thrust a container of fish stew in my hands and tell me good luck." She heard him laugh softly. "I acted like a dope the entire day after that."

Gods, her heart was beating faster with every word, and he wasn't even done.

"That one time you were half asleep and were braiding my hair, I didn't let them out until I had to bathe. Oh, and remember when I could barely get any words out at that council meeting a few months ago? I told you it was because I was sick, but it was actually because Ruffnut made you come all dressed up and you took my breath away."

"What are you trying to tell me?" Astrid managed to get out, still holding his hand. "That you've loved me since day one?"

Hiccup laughed again, leaning down to whisper in her ear. "Can I see you?"

Her tears were fairly dried up, so she nodded, letting him spin her around gently. Their eyes met.

"I didn't love you on day one. I loved you on day one hundred and sixty two, when you kept me from leaving the room so that you could pat my hair down first. You said it looked better wild, but that the council didn't think so." He leaned down until his lips were brushing over her's. "And you said it so matter of factly, and that was only the start of me losing my mind around you. Because you're you." He somehow managed to get even closer, and at some point while he was talking, she had slid her arms around his neck.

And yet, he still wasn't done. "But even before you made me fall pretty hard for you, I hadn't slept with any other woman. And now I can't even dream of it, because you're the only woman who comes into my dreams."

Astrid finally found her voice and choked out.

"You are such a sap, you know that?"

Their lips met after that, and both of them relaxed. His shoulders slumped, while she felt like she was walking on air. Husband and wife held each other close, and they both tumbled on the bed (and considering how the stress had been eating at her the whole day, she was pretty tired).

"Mmh, you owe me one thing, though."

"What's that?"

"You have to tell me when you fell in love with me," Hiccup whispered hoarsely, grinning at her.

Astrid closed her eyes for a second as she pressed a kiss to his jaw.

"Doesn't matter. I fell in love with you all over again just now."

 **I know my writing sucks, but I just wanted to write something. I'm sorry, I just have so much shit going on with school and home and clubs and work - and I was feeling particularly dejected today after yet another argument with mommy dearest, so here, have this trash.**


	2. Chapter 2

**This is highkey the longest thing I've ever posted in one go, and I hope you guys like it!**

Astrid crumpled up the letter in her hand and tossed it in the fire with such vigor that Hiccup looked up with a raised brow and a slightly amused grin.

"Did the paper do you wrong or did you just not like the words on it?"

"The latter." Astrid stood up and walked to her side of the bed, frowning. "My cousin Rosie is coming to Berk to visit."

Hiccup stood up as well, furrowing his brows. "And you're mad because...you hate waving hello?"

She sent him a Look - her husband could be both the most clever man she had ever met and at the same time make her question where half of his brain went.

"No. I'm upset because she, as per usual, didn't see fit to ask me. She just declared she was coming, and that we should make preparations for her." She shook her head as she sat down and started undoing her braid. "Well, I'm not preparing anything. That - that wench can come and fend for herself."

Hiccup laughed, plopping down on the bed next to her with his head in her lap. "This is a new petty side I'm seeing of you, my lady."

She ran her fingers through his hair absentmindedly. "It's not petty. I don't like her, and simply inviting yourself to someone's home is extremely rude." She looked down at him and squinted. "Is that a scar on your temple I see?"

"Training accident. A dragon got agitated." He shook his head. "It's not important."

He had absolutely no care for himself in these matters, and it bothered her. There were never not scars lining his - extremely defined - torso. Burn and claw marks littered his back. But he seemed to bounce back from every injury.

She pursed her lips, tracing the scar with his finger. "You should have Gothi look at it."

"I'll go to her tomorrow," he promised, smiling sweetly. "Tell me more about your cousin."

She blew on her hair as she rolled her eyes. "Oh, there's so much to tell. She's pretty, she's amazing, she's clever, she's brilliant -"

"You're jealous."

"I have good reason to be. Everyone loves her."

"Who's everyone?"

"Oh, you know -" She waved her hand in a frustrated manner. "- My parents. Her parents. The adults. The children. She's the fun, smart one, and I'm...I'm me."

Hiccup sat up a little and pressed a short kiss to her lips before pulling back. "Are you saying you're not fun and smart? I would beg to disagree."

She couldn't help it - she smiled. Hiccup's compliments were so sincere, and he gave them out so easily. With anyone else, she would have rolled her eyes, or shot back a comment - in general, she didn't accept them. But with Hiccup...it was hard not to.

"Maybe I am." She brushed his hair from his forehead and pecked his lips. "But she's more fun, and more smart. You'll see. Everyone will be fawning over her."

"Will I be able to see that, when I'm too busy looking at my beautiful wife?"

Alright, that one was a little much.

Astrid laughed and hit him in the face with a pillow, causing him to hit her back, and the two adults to get into an all out pillow war until Finn came into the room, cross, asking them to please keep it down so he could sleep.

So, with muffled giggles at her son's recently developed serious attitude, she waited for Hiccup to blow out the candle in their room, buried her face into his chest, and let herself drift off to sleep.

* * *

"Astrid."

The greeting was curt, polite, and as much of a slap in the face as Rosie being there was. The two hugged briefly before pulling back. Astrid gazed at her cousin with a small, fake smile.

"Rosie, I never got to ask, since your letter was so...spontaneous, but what exactly are you doing here?"

"Am I not allowed to be here?" she asked, amusedly. "Oh, is that the chief?"

Astrid immediately felt irritated at the appreciative look that Rosie sent her husband (who was currently directing people to help the other men on board take things off the ship), her fist clenching slightly. "Yes, that's Hiccup."

"Have you done that?"

"My gods, you're as vulgar as ever." She shook her head, stepping back. "And of - of course we have, we have two sons." She crossed her arms. "We have a room set up for you."

(No matter how much she had protested, Hiccup had reasoned it would be rather rude not to give Rosie a room in their hut.)

She didn't spend too much time in her room after unpacking, instead choosing to go out and meet everyone. When they walked into the Great Hall together, Thorne walked up to them, and Astrid felt a headache coming on before the woman even opened her mouth.

"Chieftess! Is this your sister? She looks nothing like you!"

Was that an insult? She opened her mouth to respond but Rosie interrupted her by laughing.

"No, I'm Astrid's cousin. Believe me, if I was her sister, I would have died of boredom by now."

Astrid bit down on her tongue, hard, gasping in pain as the two women stared at her. Trying not to wince, she excused herself and left to go find Hiccup.

Instead, she found Toothless, who kept nudging into her looking for chin scratches, to which she complied. Wherever the Night Fury was, Hiccup would be close by.

Sure enough, he was on a nearby roof, clapping as he tried to get a chicken's attention so that he could get it down. How the chicken ended up there, she couldn't fathom, but this was Berk - occurrences like this were constant.

"Hiccup! Be careful!"

"Always!" he called out cheerfully, without looking down.

"Your rider is a nutjob," she muttered to Toothless, who let out an agreeing rumble.

"I can hear both of you, and this is treason!"

Astrid snorted, unclasping her cloak before climbing up to where he was, and grabbing the chicken with one hand, while the other grabbed held Hiccup's for support. She dropped the chicken off, where it scuttled away, not wanting to be too close to Toothless. Hiccup grinned.

"What would I do without you?"

"Die, probably."

"Probably," he agreed. "How are you enjoying your cousin's visit?"

"I don't want to talk about her," Astrid said firmly, before leaning in to kiss him. He responded back in kind, cupping her cheek and returning to her enthusiasm, until she made to unclasp one of the belts on his armor.

"Whoa, whoa." He pulled back, nearly falling off until she grabbed his hand and hefted him back up. "We are in a very public place, you insatiable woman!"

Astrid huffed. "You're as insatiable as I am, and forgive me if I was just loosening your tunic a bit. I wasn't going to sleep with you on someone's roof."

Hiccup gave her a dubious look, before the two of them started laughing.

"Can we just stay here?" She sighed, resting her head on Hiccup's shoulder. He took her hand, squeezing it gently.

"Do you really dislike your cousin that much?"

Her eyes found Rosie down below, where she was talking to Finn. Her son was smiling wider than she had seen him smile in the past few weeks. He was even laughing.

"It's not about her," she lied, placing her hand on Hiccup's cheek and kissing him a few times. "I just...really...like it up here...with you."

He smiled against her lips, his thumb rubbing circles on her waist. "Well, maybe - maybe…" He gently pulled her back with an eager twinkle in his eye. "We could sneak out tonight? You, me, and our little hideout nearby?"

(Hideout wasn't really the appropriate word. Titling it The Place To Run Off To And Have Sex So That Their Children Wouldn't Hear would be more appropriate.)

"I would love that," she said, and felt herself smiling.

* * *

She learned not to mind. She really did.

Even when some viking brushed past her to ask for Rosie's help, or if one of the Berkian children wanted a ride on Rosie's back, it was okay.

It was fine. It was what she was used to.

And she could handle it.

Until the day came that she saw Rosie in the forge, leaning forward with a sweet smile, talking to Hiccup, who wasn't exactly shying away.

That was one thing Astrid couldn't handle. So she stormed up to the forge, catching their conversation as she got closer.

"That's brilliant! I've been fiddling with this suit for weeks!"

"Oh, it's nothing. I happened to do a little leather work back on my island."

Oh, of course she did! Why wouldn't she share a common interest with Hiccup? Why wouldn't she be good at something that he would enjoy? Why wouldn't she be knowledgeable about something Astrid wasn't?

It would be ridiculous for her cousin to not be her superior in every way imaginable.

"Rosie," she cut in as she walked inside the forge, "I think Sven wanted your help in the docks."

While that was a lie, she was sure Sven would be happy to see the woman anyway, and of course he'd prefer her to his chieftess.

Rosie smiled brightly, showing off her nice set of teeth. "Can you help him? I'm busy admiring this flight suit Hiccup has made."

Hiccup gave Astrid a crooked grin. "She had this brilliant idea to control the speed, I can't believe I didn't think of it before!"

"Explain it to me," Astrid said, as emotionless as she could.

The both of them started talking, and with each word, she felt worse. They were finishing each other's sentences, for Thor's sake. Nothing made sense, all she knew was that before Hiccup was having trouble controlling the speed and now he could fix it.

Thanks to Rosie.

Biting back any...feelings, she simply nodded curtly, turning on her heel - because she could tell when she wasn't wanted. Her bangs got in her eyes before she pushed them back furiously and whistled for her dragon.

"Stormfly!"

"Oh, could you leave her here?" Rosie called out. "Hiccup was gonna take me for a flight, teach me to...spread my wings," she said with a giggle.

Astrid desperately wanted to punch something, so she didn't even bother to answer before running. No one she passed looked concerned. Maybe before she could blame that on her not being a Berkian, but she was sure if it was her cousin who was running, distressed, then people would help.

She ran into the forests, made sure no one was nearby, and then threw her axe as hard as she could in a tree that she pictured as her insecurities.

Thor damn it all! Stormfly was her dragon, Finn and Stoick were her kids, and Hiccup was her husband. It had taken them years to get close to each other, and Rosie had managed it in a few days.

She took her axe out, turned around and watched as it landed with a satisfying thunk into another tree.

And maybe it was selfish, but she wanted someone who preferred her, who preferred her company always, and who didn't prefer Rosie.

Astrid wasn't stupid, or ridiculously irrational. She didn't think that Hiccup didn't love her, or that he would fall inexplicably in love with someone else, but - but -

Another tree was hit.

But the fact that Rosie could connect with him in a way that Astrid couldn't - it made her furious. It made her angry. At Rosie, at Hiccup, and most of all at herself.

Why had she been the one to be born with hair that got dirty and tangled easily? Why did she have to have buck teeth? And why did she have such trouble controlling her anger? Why was she so bad at understanding all of Hiccup's technical talk?

Why did she get so upset about all of this?

Oh gods, she was insecure about her insecurity.

Her blade let out a dull thunking sound as it met its target.

Ultimately, it wasn't Rosie that was the problem, it was her.

She couldn't fault people for liking the woman. Not when Rosie was so much more preferable.

But she had hoped that Hiccup wouldn't be one of those people.

And to know that he was - it hurt her more than any axe blade ever could.

* * *

She and Hiccup hadn't talked much that night. Just like how they had spent most of their nights the first years of their marriage.

He must have realized something was bothering her, but he didn't push. He knew by now when to push and when not to.

Astrid couldn't sleep. Her arms ached.

"M'gonna try out the flight suit with improvements tomorrow," Hiccup murmured, facing her.

Astrid felt bile rising in her throat, but she kept her tongue in check as she responded. "Oh? Will Rosie be joining you?"

"Maybe. I'm really excited, Ast. This could change things dramatically for Berk."

A feat she had never contributed.

Gods, she needed to keep her thoughts from running off like that.

* * *

"Y'know," Tuffnut began in that voice of his where she knew he was about to say something perceptive, "I would ask where those bruises on your arms came from, but then I feel like you might give me one."

"And I feel like that was your indirect way of asking."

Tuff grinned at her.

He was the only one not completely enthralled by Rosie, but really, that didn't mean much, Tuff's greatest objects of desire were inanimate objects, like his mace, or animals, like his chicken. Still, he made for some good company when she needed it. Ruffnut did too, but Astrid was half sure the woman was attracted to her cousin and she did not to hear more about how pretty Rosie was.

"I was practicing with my axe, if you must know."

"Are we going to a war I don't know about?"

Astrid pushed her dirty bangs out of her eyes after she set down the last log in front of the Wood Stack. It was a hot, hot day. "No. I was just...pent up."

"Sexually?"

"Why would I throw axes if I was pent up sexually, Tuffnut?"

"Heat rushes to the lower regions -"

"Right." She sighed, wiping sweat off her forehead with the back of her arm.

Conversations like these were not ones she'd get with anyone else in the tribe. That was both a good, and bad thing. She did prefer Tuffnut's antics to facing her insecurity.

"If you are pent up sexually, I can totally talk to our dear chief for you -"

"Gods, no, Tuffnut." She sat down, panting and leaning her head back. "I am completely happy sexually, and I don't really wanna talk about my - my sex like with you."

Never mind that she and Hiccup hadn't...done it, in at least two weeks, although that was her doing. She told him she wasn't in the mood, and truth be told, she wasn't. If she had to look at him, intimately, and have even the slightest doubt that he preferred someone else, then she might break down right there, and she hated showing weakness, even now, even to her husband.

A cry of "Mama!" broke her out of her thoughts as she looked up, seeing both her sons running towards her. Stoick looked upset and Finn looked cross. The former ran into her, dried tears on his face.

"Mama, Finn yelled at me!"

"He was bothering me!" the other boy shouted. "I was trying to catch a fish, and he kept bugging me to play!"

Astrid sighed, pulling Stoick on her lap properly. "Finn, you can't be mad if your brother wants to play with you. He loves you, and he wants to spend time with you."

"But he's annoying!"

Stoick's lip trembled.

"Finn!" She stood up, setting Stoick down and narrowing her eyes at her son. "Apologize to your brother, right now, and don't call him annoying."

Finn glared back at her, her own icy blue eyes reflected in his. "I won't! He's just a little kid!"

"So are you!"

"Aunt Rosie would agree with me, Mama!"

Astrid bit back a gasp that threatened to escape her. Her hand shook. So, Rosie had done it. She had won over her eldest, who knew how long it would be until she won over Stoick as well?

"Well, then, why don't you -" She caught herself in time, about to suggest to him that he go to his Aunt Rosie if he valued her input so much, but she couldn't - wouldn't - say that. Finn was a child, and she was an adult, and she had to show self control. She wouldn't lose her temper.

"Finn, no matter whose side your Aunt Rosie would take, Stoick is your brother. And I expect you to treat him nicely." She kneeled down until they were eye to eye. "Is that understood, or do I need to tell Dad about this?"

"Understood," he muttered, before running off, probably knowing she would still try and get him to apologize to his brother.

"And as for you," she started, turning to her youngest, "if Finn does not want to play with you, he doesn't have to. Alright? Why don't you come play with Mama?"

"Can we play Maces and Talons?" His eyes lit up. "I gotta get really good so I can beat Ragnar at it!"

She smiled lightly - even if her children did end up preferring her cousin, she found that she could never hold any dislike for them, not Stoick nor Finn.

"Of course, my sweet." She picked him up again, kissing his cheek. "Let's go."

* * *

Astrid couldn't hold contempt for Hiccup either, but she could definitely hold contempt for herself. And that was what she felt, as he brushed her hair from her shoulder, standing behind her as he kissed her neck gently.

She moved away, not missing Hiccup's confused look, but choosing to pretend she hadn't seen it.

"How are the designs for the flight suit?" She started to comb her hair, cringing when she ran into tangles.

"Oh, brilliant." She heard the joy in his voice. "I think Rosie and I are really getting close to a breakthrough. Actually -" He turned her around unexpectedly, grinning. "Come with me to the forge. I have something to show you."

Astrid closed her eyes for a second, the silent pleading from his eyes was too much to handle. "No, I think I'm going to go to bed, I'm really tired. But I'm sure you can go to Rosie's room and show her."

He shook his head, tilting her chin up. "It's not for Rosie, it's for you."

"I'm sure she will appreciate it all the same."

He frowned, stepping back and looking her over before saying, "Have I done something to upset you?"

"No." She clenched her comb tightly in her right hand. "What makes you think that?"

"Because for weeks, you've been distant. You push me away, you never want to talk, or - or do anything with me, for that matter." He shook his head. "You can't tell me that I'm just imagining things."

"I can tell you whatever I please," she snapped, gritting her teeth, "but if you want -"

"Let me guess," Hiccup held up a hand. "Rosie will do all those things with me?"

Astrid scowled, running a hand through her hair. "Well, you seem to have it figured out."

Hiccup's expression hardened, his eyes narrowing at her. "I understand that you don't like your cousin, but to think that I see her the same way I see you -"

"I don't think that."

"And yet you're implying that the activities we do together would be just as enjoyable for me if I did them with her."

"Well, wouldn't they?" She laughed humorlessly. "Wouldn't you prefer to have a smarter, more capable, more beautiful, more temperate woman to do your - your activities with?" She stepped back. "That's not an opinion, Hiccup. Anyone would prefer her, I don't fault you for that."

"Well, I fault you." His voice had dropped to a low but firm tone. Before Astrid could say anything, he continued. "I fault you for thinking the worst of me, and assuming I would betray you."

Astrid scoffed. "I never said you cheated on me."

"But you thought so, when Thorne - Thorne of all people! - suggested to you that it was a possibility."

Her eyes widened in indignation. "I didn't know of your commitment to me at that time!"

"And nor did I yours!" His voice raised as her's did. "But I trusted you, I thought the best of you! Is it too much to ask for the same? Is it so hard to see that I don't want another woman, besides you?"

"Yes!" She glared at him. "When that woman is my cousin, it is hard to see otherwise, because in case you hadn't noticed, the entire damn village, including our eldest son, loves her! It took me years to earn their tolerance, and she gets their love within days!"

"I'm sorry that you care so much what people think, then, Astrid!"

"I'm the Thor-damned chieftess, of course I care!"

"If you think that you have any reason to mistrust me, perhaps you don't know me so well!"

"And if you think that this is about you, then you have misunderstood me completely!"

"Mama? Dad?"

They both stopped, turning their heads to where Stoick was standing, a dragon plush in his hands. His eyes were brimming with tears.

"Why are you guys fighting?"

"Stoick," Hiccup murmured, his shoulders sagging as he walked over to him and picked him up, "it's alright. Mama and I were just having a little disagreement."

"But you both were shouting!"

"I'm sorry if we woke you, my sweet." Astrid sighed, walking up to them and placing her hand on Stoick's cheek. "But we're fine, don't worry."

She kissed his forehead, her heart pounding. She had done it, she had lost control. And scared her son in the process. She should have been better about keeping herself in check.

"See?" Hiccup said quietly, kissing her cheek with a smile, "Mama and I aren't fighting. Now go back to bed, or your little dragon will get cold." He nodded at the plush, and Stoick gasped.

"You're right! He could get sick!"

Hiccup nodded urgently, playing along before setting the boy down. Both of them watched him scurry down the hall into his room, letting out simultaneous breaths of relief.

She tucked her bangs behind her ear, looking at Hiccup, who suddenly looked as tired as she felt. She didn't want to scream, and she doubted he did either.

"I don't want to wake him up again."

"Me neither," he sighed in agreement, "would you prefer if...I spent the night somewhere else?"

Astrid shook her head - she was not going to act so dishonorably as to kick the Chief of Berk out of his own room. Instead, she turned and grabbed her axe.

"I just need some air."

Hiccup didn't try to stop her as she left, and he didn't see the tears starting to splash down her cheeks. Oh, great, so now she was emotional in a different way. Just perfect.

The worst part of the night was seeing Rosie, awake downstairs, staring at her guiltily as she left the hut. So she had heard everything too. A small part of Astrid was satisfied, happy that her cousin knew the consequences of being so perfect, and the other part was utterly humiliated.

She said nothing to her as she left. Anything she had to say couldn't be said when her cheeks were wet and her vision was blurry.

* * *

The next day, Hiccup and Astrid avoided talking to each other. The sun was setting as Astrid stepped out of the Great Hall, brushing people who were going in for dinner.

She was on the last step when she heard her name being called, and turned to see Rosie hurrying out after her.

"Astrid! Slow down! Astrid!"

Not wanting to talk to her, she walked faster, pretending not to hear her over everyone's conversations.

She didn't count on Rosie being so determined, however, and in a few seconds, her cousin was grabbing her arm.

"What?" Astrid scowled, yanking it back.

"I think you and I need to talk."

"I have nothing to talk to you about." She crossed her arms. "When are you leaving? Doesn't your family miss you?"

Rosie matched her scowl, stepping closer. "Don't try and change the subject."

"Oh, like you do every time I ask that question?"

"I like it here on Berk! It's not your island, you know!"

She was about to yell back, but she stopped just in time, taking a shaky breath. Rosie had always said she let her emotions get the better of her. She would not prove her right for the thousandth time.

"I don't want to argue with you. Leave me alone."

"Oh, thanks for giving me free time to go screw your husband."

Astrid, who had been walking away, whipped around, glaring. "Shut the hell up, someone could hear you."

"Isn't that what you think I'm doing?"

"If I didn't know Hiccup better, I definitely wouldn't put it past you."

Rosie rolled her eyes. "Get over yourself, Astrid. I'm not here to ruin your life."

"Oh yeah?" She glared. "Could have fooled me."

"I'm leaving in a week."

"You're - what?" Astrid frowned, pushing her bangs out of her eyes.

Rosie sighed, motioning for her to follow as she started walking. Astrid hesitated for a second, but she followed behind her, her mind spinning.

She had expected Rosie to announce her permanent move any day now. She had been prepared for the worst - a slow, gradual decline of her and Hiccup's marriage until the two were even worse than before - not even sleeping in the same bed, and barely talking to each other, all because Rosie was living with them.

It had been a bleak future.

The two women walked until they reached the docks. Rosie sat on the edge, her legs dangling off as she looked up at Astrid expectantly. Astrid shook her head - she didn't fully trust Rosie not to push her into the water like Astrid herself had done once when they were kids.

Rosie shrugged, turning her gaze to look at the horizon. "Berk was my first stop, but I'm going to go exploring."

"Exploring?"

Rosie smirked. "See, it's when you leave home and go out and -"

"I know what exploring is," Astrid snapped, irritated. She finally sat down, looking at her cousin properly. "Were you parents trying to marry you off?"

She shook her head, scoffing. "That's not the only reason a woman would want to run off, although...you're not wrong, they probably were about to. And I wouldn't want to settle down." She gave Astrid a dubious look. "But I'm sure you don't believe that."

Astrid covered her arm with her hand - an old habit she did when she was unsure. "Oh, shut it. So why did you leave, if not to avoid marriage?"

"Because the world is huge and life isn't that long."

Astrid furrowed her brows. "That's it?"

"Nice and simple. But I needed a faster way than by ship."

And then it dawned on Astrid, as she leaned back.

"Dragons."

"Do you want a prize?" Rosie grinned, tapping her nose. "So, no, Ast, I'm not here to steal your husband."

She groaned, running a hand through her hair. "That's not what I thought. I just...you...people always like you more. I didn't want him to."

It seemed her reasons were rather simple as well.

"He wants to explore too, you know," Astrid went on, frowning at the water, "you two have a lot in common."

"Gods, Astrid." Rosie sat back, crossing her legs under her. "Come on. He clearly loves this island, and he clearly loves you. Stop being such an insecure little girl. Be a little more confident. Maybe you're not as amazing as me -" She grinned, nudging Astrid's shoulder gently. "But you're not completely horrible, and you should have more confidence in the poor guy."

Astrid looked at Rosie, with her long, flowing hair, and her mischievous face, and thought that she might be right.

She was going to destroy her own marriage if she didn't start to think better of both herself and Hiccup.

"The night before you met him," Rosie said, interrupting her thoughts, "you were planning on running away too." She grinned. "Remember that?"

Astrid grinned lightly as well. "You had a stowaway ship ready for me. My clothes were packed."

"Why didn't you go?"

Astrid thought. Her answer wasn't something complicated, once again. She hadn't magically known what Hiccup would be like, or simply assured herself with some flowery words. It seemed she and Rosie did have some things in common.

"I guess I wasn't brave enough."

And some things they didn't.

"Or maybe," Rosie said, looking up, "you were braver than I am."

Astrid smiled, and was about to lean forward to embrace her cousin, when Rosie's arm thrust out and shoved her shoulder, pushing her into the water. Astrid gasped as she fell, her clothes soaking and her braid loosening.

Rosie cackled, standing up and calling out as she ran away. "Revenge! You lose, Astrid!"

* * *

Hiccup stood up as Astrid entered the room, making to walk out when she placed a hand on his chest.

He stopped in his tracks and looked at her. Gods, she loved his eyes, they were so kind, and beautiful…

"Can we talk?"

Hiccup placed his hand over her's, making her heart skip a beat. He smiled, biting his lip. "Well, I'd like to."

Astrid took both his hands and pulled him to the bed, sitting down with him on the edge. She noticed him look at her wet bangs and clothes with a raised a brow, but she simply shook her head - it was easier not to ask.

She took a deep breath, leaning forward. "Hiccup. I...I'm not...I don't like myself all that much." She pushed her wet hair out of her eyes. "I was compared to Rosie a lot as a kid, and - and that's not important. The point is, I let those insecurities control me for a while, and…" She looked at him guiltily. "I took them out on you. I'm sorry for that."

Hiccup didn't say anything, but he nodded slightly. Her heart pounded - what was he thinking? Had he already guessed these things?

"I'm trying to get better. And I won't take it out on you, or on Stoick and Finn. I promise. That's not fair."

It was an awkward place to end, but she didn't have anything else to say. She bowed her head, waiting for him to say something, but when he didn't, she sighed and stood up to walk out. She could hardly fault him for not wanting to speak with her -

Hiccup grabbed her arm, turning her around and kissing her - not a quick, easy kiss, or an emotional, hormonal one, but a kiss that she could only imagine sharing with him, with his arms around her waist, letting her know he forgave her without having to say anything, and her hands tangled in his hair, just trying to get closer to him, because she loved him. He was her everything. She wanted to be with him, forever.

After a minute, they pulled back, gasping for breath as Astrid rested her forehead on his shoulder. She pressed another kiss to his collarbone. His arms stayed tight around her. His armor had wet patches transferred from her skirt and top.

"I should be the one apologizing, Ast." He kissed the top of her head, nuzzling into her hair a little. "I should've seen that it wasn't that you didn't trust me, and - and I shouldn't have gotten mad. I should have helped." He pulled away, looking into her eyes seriously. "And if you want to work on this, I'm going to help. We're gonna do this, together. Like we've done for years."

He was so much better than her with his words.

No.

Her words had prompted his, so they must have touched him somehow. She was a better speaker than she thought.

Astrid nodded lightly, smiling. That was a step in the right direction.

Hiccup looked over his shoulder, and then turned back to her with a grin. "You know...the kids are out, and our bed is right here -"

Astrid snorted, smacking his shoulder. If Hiccup was making bad innuendos, and they were going to have casual sex, then they were definitely alright again.

* * *

The whole village came to see Rosie off, of course. Astrid stood with Hiccup as Rosie stood by her new friend, a rather fiery Monstrous Nightmare - Gods only knew she had managed to tame it. Astrid's hands were on Finn's shoulders as he leaned back into her touch, while Stoick was in Hiccup's arms. Astrid stepped forward, outstretching her hand.

She couldn't believe she was actually sorry to see Rosie go, but apparently miracles did happen.

Rosie raised a brow. "No goodbye hug for your favorite cousin?"

"Not after you pushed me into the water, no."

"What could I possibly do to you now?"

"You'd figure something out, I'm sure." Astrid grinned, shaking her arm a little. "I'm not getting any younger."

"No, you're not, old lady." Rosie laughed as she shook her hand, squeezing it gently. "I'll be back to visit."

"Make good memories," Hiccup said, stepping up next to them with a smile, "we'll be waiting to hear about it."

Rosie nodded, saluting to Berk before getting on to Firewing (apparently, naming was one thing Astrid was better at) and whooping as she took off. Hiccup, Astrid, along with Finn and Stoick, waved and kept waving until she was just a dot in the distance. Hiccup looked at her and kissed her cheek.

"Lunch?"

"Hmm," she murmured in agreement, taking Stoick from him as the four of them started walking to the Great Hall. "Hiccup."

"Yeah?"

Astrid set Stoick down, letting the two boys run off ahead of them as she leaned in, kissing her husband on the lips gently before pulling back. She loved the slightly dazed look on his face.

"Race you to the Great Hall!" she shouted all of a sudden, running as he stood there, surprised. It didn't take him too long to catch on, though, and soon he was running after her, laughing.

"Astrid Hofferson, you sneak!"

Astrid smirked. Maybe it ran in the family.

 **Aaaand a happy ending. I was very much inspired by Victoria, which I've been watching lately, as well as my own insecurities that I have an obligation to project, whoops. I hope you guys liked it!**

 **Psst, I really don't know if I'll do another thing with this, so do send in ideas! I am not promising or even agreeing that I'll write any of them, but they may inspire me (so long as you're not just reviewing to demand I write something, of course).**

 **Thanks for reading!**


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